When faced with an issue or volatile situation, professionalism goes a lot further than one can imagine.
When trying to dig your heels into the ground and beat someone down with words, you’ll notice that it tends to dissuade others from being open to compromise or even communicating with reason. Instead of digging your heels, try taking a few breaths before communicating and remember there’s a solution to be had (regardless of it being the solution you intended it to be). Taking things personally (especially in a workplace setting) will only create a defensive approach and will not allow you to see, think or speak clearly and without emotion.
Additionally, if time permits, run through as many scenarios as possible to recognize the best result. This could be a difficult task to do (especially if you don’t necessarily know the other party well) but when forecasting, think how this individual will react to the words you’re saying, the tone in which you say them, the body language and facial expressions you’re making, the time you’re having this conversation, the location that you’re having the conversation, who the witnesses are and most importantly what mindset you’re in.
- Choose your words carefully: Choosing the right words specific to the receiver is important as you don’t want to be perceived as undermining their intellect by using bigger words that aren’t in their vocabulary. You also want to remain professional and not use course words or profanity throughout the conversation as that’ll tend to ensure an individual is less responsive to the message you’re attempting to send. The words you say should be well thought out and in an order that you can remember all the talking points you wanted to address. *Tip: Once you’ve gone through this section of the forecasting, write down the keywords on a post it note or legal pad to help guide your conversation and keep you on track.
- Tone Matters: Have you ever been told by your parents, significant other, teacher or supervisor, “ It’s not what you said, just how you said it?” Well believe it or not, they were right (but you don’t have to go back and tell them that 😉 ). Tone matters more than the messaging. There’re many ways to deliver a message and the most appropriate and professional way is at your regular speaking volume and with a slight compassion. Tone is tricky and we get it, in the heat of the moment you don’t want to be considerate of how you’re presenting your blows but it will save you in the end. Remain calm, breathe and deliver a soft, even-tempered message.
- Body Language and Facial Expressions: Did you know that crossing your arms in conversation is a sign of disrespect and is certainly not professional? It gives off an unspoken message that you’re upset, angry, defensive and non-committing. It’s best to unfold your arms and place your hands together on a table or your lap. There’re many power poses with your hand (use this link for more information) which will help give you the courage and power to persevere through this grueling meeting. Also, Fix Your Face! If you’re one of the more expressive face makers, you will need to consciously consider how your facial reactions look and are perceived. It’s one thing to say “I want to work together to meet our quota” with a regular non-questionable and sincere face; it’s another to say it with a face of disdain and hostility (eyebrows curled in, forehead scrunched as tight as possible, jaws clenched, you get the picture. It may help to have the forecasting conversation in the mirror to truly understand what the other party will be seeing in this meeting.
- Timing is Everything: Do you think you’re most receptive to someone asking you to do something 5 minutes before your lunch break or before you’re supposed to leave for the day? If you said yes, it’s time to speak to a therapist. Reality is, there’s never a “good time” to have difficult conversations but you can make those times a little bit easier if you carefully think of when it’d be best. If you know the person you need to speak with is a bit happier after drinking their third cup of coffee for the day, that’ll be the time to strike. Keep in mind, there may be other variables that need to be considered. If you hear that Shiela must leave earlier to pick up her sick child from school, that meeting can wait. Sheila won’t be in a receptive mood and will be most focused on her child. Be conscious and considerate of when to have your meeting and it’ll go a long way.
- Location, Location, Location: Realtors know a thing or two about location and so should you. You never want to have a meeting with someone in front of a crowd, the boss, etc. It’s more professional to find a location that is private and not within earshot of others to maintain confidentiality. You don’t want to take the person into a basement, closet or any other area that may freak them out or make them feel you’re about to murder them (especially if the conversations have previously been heated). A well lighted conference room with the blinds pulled will do just fine.
- Witnesses: Depending on the conversation and messaging, you may want a witness. Some scenarios where you’d want a witness:
- If you are about to have your conversation with someone that is known to mince words and not fully understand a clear message;
- If you know the individual gets heated quickly and will spout off at the mouth;
- If you feel threatened by the individual(s);
- If you are outnumbered;
- If you need someone for emotional support;
- If you are about to speak with another human being 😊
- Mindset is KEY: In order to ensure success, you’ll need to ensure your mindset is a positive one that wants a successful resolution. If you go in with a mindset that is negative and that YOU must win, you will not have a successful resolution. Ensure you breathe, smile and care about a mutual resolution.